I have been grumpy lately. Not enough sleep, lots of traveling and a change in lifestyle for the summer. The combination of these left me void of energy or enthusiasm to endure this season of my life. I had a bad outlook on my situation coupled with itching anxiety to control my environment. This unfulfillment in my current situation left me poor of spirit and not loving well. Tolerance for anyone or anything around was also MIA. “Well how can I have more of my way and love myself to get though this?” I thought. The sound of my own thoughts led to the humbling decision I may need to change my my attitude. I wanted to have a positive outlook for enjoying this season thoroughly; full of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).
So I prayed that prayer, and this is how my Father responded:
I woke up and sat with bible and study material in hand and enjoyed my morning with Christ… FIRST thing as long as I needed. I didn’t worry about the day, or what would become of what “I” needed that day.
Then there were two other things that God equipped my heart with:
All about how we think “what about me?” And “are my needs and dreams being met?” Which is a question that leaves us bitter and irritable if we cannot say for sure the answer is yes. I would dare to say that this is probably because we have no idea what we want in the first place.
Then this podcast from Bethel Church:
Which talks about redefining what success is. Much of our deficient and selfishness is a lack of fulfillment. We set out sites too high, too central focused or on things that may not really matter or even make us happy.
If you feel anxiously desperate for control or are attempting to “love” yourself more to compensate the void that exists in life during this season, ask yourself if maybe there is a bigger picture. You may just need a new perspective! I encourage you to check both of these things out for a radical perspective check.
Let go of trying to control life, because that’s impossible. Also, let go of feeling like you need to take care of your own. God knows your needs and desires and abundantly meets them so that you are well loved!
This is not to say do not dream or be passionate! In fact, our passions and talents are ways in which we minister by example. The problem is when we have no passion or direction we treat others the same way.
I can tell you this, since that day I rely on him and his abundance to fill me so that I know I am fufilled and valuable right where I am enjoying what he had set before me. I really do feel more fufilled and get more of what I need without really even trying, I just let him take care of me. I am also practicing intentional thankfulness because sometimes we are just unthankful and it makes us greedy/ unhappy in any situation.
Oh, and guess what else? Everyone around me is loved better:)